…made even sweeter in knowledge of your support for Spurs!
Dear John Crace,
As yours is one of the first articles I read in the Guardian, I was surprised to learn of the impecunious state of your pension (Guardian 14/9/2019).
However, let me as a pensioner advise you that all is not lost. Pensions are perhaps the ultimate statement of hope that we will live tomorrow and so living for today is sacrificed for the future. Pensions are also the haven for smooth talking advisors who play on our expectations of linear advances of phantom money in a topsy-turvy world. Many pensioners survive on the state pension, including those WASPI women who have had to await an unforeseen extra year or so. With your talents as a parliamentary scribbler, you could easily turn you skills to fiction. In fact, do you not currently report on the fiction spouted by our parliamentarians?
Your column is a joy to read and made even sweeter in knowledge of your support for Spurs!
Flawed luminaries such as Dave (as you have called him) may be able to command hundreds of thousands for a memoir, your talents could easily reach, on the one hand, to the heights of political thrillers or, on the other, to comic farce or both simultaneously and you will be the toast of the Booker prize. I, Maybot: The Rise and Fall is obviously a good start.
I am sure that I speak for many Guardian readers up and down the land and even for some of those abroad, when I say your column is the principal reason why I buy the Guardian. Not only do I sense a lingering Mancunian humour in the paper, but it is also the standard bearer of British spelling and consequently affectionately known as the Grauniad. I am sure you will see parallels today with this this 45-year-old cutting from the paper (thanks to cut and paste from the internet):
“The Republican National Comittee decided in the spring that its chances of the White House in 1964 would be very slim indeed if it did not capture California, the second largest state, in 1962. Nobody less than its strongest possible vote-getter would do to defeat the incumbent Governor, Edmund (Pat) Brown. When it said this, Mr Nion was looking towards Washington, but the committee was liiking at Mr Nixon. He would have to oick the candidate, and if he oicked another man, eho lost, the party would be loth to nominate for the Preidency a national leader whose influence could not carry his own state in a state election. Yet, if Mr Noxon ran himself and won, he would practiclly forsweat the presidency; for, like allaspiring governors, he has been bocal and bitter about men who use the governor’s mansion as a springboard int the White House.”
Clearly hot metal had an inferior spell-checker, but point made, I hope.
Keep up the good work, don’t worry about your pension security when you have a talent for observation and wit such as yours, and please keep up your column even after Brexit. Politics is never dull with your observations.
I am taking the simple step of sending you this note by mail as you, like billions of others, are unlikely to find my blog (email@example.com).